Lesley, my dear sister
21/06/62 - 12/02/10
I've held off posting something so private, and painful in part because I worried someone looking in would be a friend I have yet to tell and in part because a blog posting seemed a trite way of communicating a personal sentiment. But, it's 2010. I have a blog because all along, I wanted to share thoughts, pictures, feelings to friends, family and a community of perhaps future friends - that's the power of the internet.
I also wasn't sure of my choice of picture - this was taken last Spring and clearly, the physical side effects of chemotherapy were already in train. There are perhaps, more flattering photos in our family album.
However, I keep returning, not only to this photo, which I love, for that wonderful smile and the memories that come back but also since my last, almost prophetic posting, I'm reminded that there was a time when I was grateful for the days on which she sounded good. None of us knew then just how little time was left.
I still have reasons to be cheerful and I have learned much about my sister in the days since her passing. And the most important lesson is one she inspired, and that is to keep smiling.
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Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky,
you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
(Chaplin)
